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When There Are No Words

Can you think back to a time when someone said something or did something that had a profound effect on you? It may have been a stranger that reached out to hug you when you were hurting or a family member who made an effort to listen when you just needed to talk. Go back to that moment in time, did you feel loved, secure and safe? I remember a time when I was struggling emotionally about a relationship. I went to church and at the end of the service, the pastor announced that if anyone needed prayer there were people in the back of the room to pray with. I sat silently for a moment, then I got up and headed towards the back of the room. Before I could say anything, a woman came up to me smiling the biggest smile and she wrapped her arms around me. I remember the warmth of her hug, and the sincerity of her smile as I melted into her arms and began sobbing. I can’t remember what she said to me after that, but I do remember how she made me feel. Without saying a word this stranger made me feel loved, secure and safe.

It is difficult to know what to say when you see someone hurting, especially a loved one. As compassionate people, we want to take away the pain or solve the situation. Many times there is nothing you can do or say to take away the suffering or resolve the situation. You can, however; be that warm hug, that sincere smile, and listening ear. So many people don’t reach out because they don’t want to upset the person or remind them of their hurt. Be assured the person feels the loss, the hurtful situation, or the failure everyday, especially if it is recent. Just knowing someone cares that they are hurting can bring healing.

As Christmas approaches, there are people who are missing loved ones or dealing with a loss in their life. Family get-togethers are bitter-sweet because there is someone who is no longer there. Remembering good times together helps to renew a positive connection to memories. Create memorials and continue traditions that honor the past, yet look toward the future. Most of all, look toward God for peace and strength in times of sorrow.

Sadly, our family is suffering this Christmas season because of a very recent loss of a loved one. Together we have cried, prayed, and shared memories. Together we have felt the peace of God and shared the ultimate gift- love.



I am 54 years-old and the mother of three grown children. In the last five years, I left a profession I was in for over 20 years, I moved to a new city, re-married, went back to school to discover a new profession, and became a grandma for the first time. I also am pursuing my passion for writing. I am writing a children's picture book and I started my first blog ever. For years I was afraid of change but I now I embrace it

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